Love entails Suffering

 We have heard people say many times, “there is not a crown without a cross”. This means is that nothing comes easy. There is no wishful thinking in being successful. If you want to be successful, work for it! If a student does not burn the mid-night oil, success in an examination may elude him/her as legs eluded the proverbial serpent. If you want something, go for it. If you want it bad enough, put in the time and work at it twice as hard. It is foolhardiness and indeed senseless to be jealous of someone who works hard to be successful while you rest on your oars thinking that the success should be yours.

In his Sunday Homilies, Year A, Mark Link, SJ wrote about Arthur Godfrey who had a sign on his office wall that read: “The fire, Lord, not the scrap heap.” Godfrey, according to Mark Link, said that the sign reminded him of a story about a blacksmith who suffered much illness but still maintained a strong faith in God. When unbeliever asked the blacksmith bow he could keep trusting God in spite of his illness, he replied: “When I make a tool, I take a piece of iron and put it in the fire. Then I strike it on the anvil to see if it can take temper. If it does, I can make a useful article out of it. If not, I toss it on the scrap heap”. Jeremiah the prophet alluded to this in the 18^th chapter of his prophecy, “I went to the potter’s house and there he was, working at the wheel. Whenever the object of clay, which he was making turns out badly in his hand, he tried again, making of the clay another object of whatever sort he pleased. Indeed, like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, house of Israel”.  

Chastisement, punishment and suffering are part of life. No one enjoys suffering or chastisement when he/she undergoes it but at the end the person may begin to see the purpose of it. Jesus calls chastisement pruning. “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower. He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit, and everyone that does he prunes so that it bears more fruit”, John 15:1-2.

To show how much God loves us, he sent his only Son to redeem us. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life” Jn. 3:16. For Mark Link, “the crucifixion acts as a dramatic sign of Jesus’s great love for us. “The greatest love a person can have for his friends”, said Jesus, “is to give his life for them,”” Through his death Jesus invites us to show same love for others. He urges us not to be afraid of suffering even for the sins of others. For it is in suffering that we gain eternal life.

The problem is that we often run away from the fire and then end up in the scrap heap. Look at our prisons; most of those in these facilities would not have ended up there if they had taken the hard road and not the easy way to success. When parents abdicate their roles and responsibilities as parents, stop disciplining their children and allow them to grow wild, eventually the long arm of the law will catch up with them and they will end up in the grip of the police, the judge and in jail.

Love should not be confused with discipline. Proverbs 12:1 reminds us that “He who loves correction loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid”. When there is love, discipline and good values in the family, it is easy for a child to avoid the pitfalls of life. Love and discipline are not diametrically opposed but complimentary.  If you love me do not spare me the embarrassment of correcting me at home. You will prevent me from the shame of making that mistake in public. According to an African proverb a mentally deranged person brings shame to his family by behaving abnormally in public. Let us take warning from the book of Proverbs 13:24 which reads, “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. Love does not condone evil but stands up for the truth no matter how painful it may be. This painful and tough love may seem hard but very redemptive indeed. Are you prepared to show tough love to your friends, your children and even yourself?

Unless you become like children, there is no heaven for you!

Life’s lesson made it clear that the future belongs to our children. Any generation that messes with children messes with the future. Children, therefore, are the greater tomorrow. If we sow in our children today a bountiful harvest awaits us tomorrow. Therefore, a Church that has no children is a dead Church.

Someone asked me once why I love children. My answer was simple: children are innocent, sincere, honest and straightforward. They are not ambitious, spiteful and proud. If they like you, you will know and if they do not like you, by George, they won’t even come close to you, or they will simply tell you they do not like you. There is no deceit in children. They do not know how to hate or bear a grudge. They can fight with their friends one minute and before you know it, they have made up and are playing and chatting as if they never fought. For children, a black child and a white child are all the same. Any child that begins to hate, be deceitful and spiteful has grown in a family or an environment where those bad habits and attitudes are prevalent. Since children pick up what they see from adults, they begin to act accordingly.

In answering the question of who was the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven Jesus demonstrated thus: “he called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, “Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me” Mt. 18:1-5.

Children are dependent on their parents or guardians. They trust and look up to those who take care of them. There is nothing that a child has that is not given to him/her by his/her parents or guardians. A child has no money of his/her own, no bank account, no credit card, no car or home to pay mortgage on. And yet all his/her needs are provided for. If she is hungry, she asks for food, if she is sick, she tells the mother. When her clothes are dirty, the mother takes care of them. All the child needs to do is to be alive and her cares are in the hands of her/his parents or guardians. This is how Christ wants us to relate to God, since he is our Father. He urges us to depend on God for our needs. Listen: “Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? “Look at the birds in the sky they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them” Mt. 6:25.

We must therefore, be childlike and not childish. We must be humble and unassuming, innocent and sincere; be honest and straightforward in our dealing with one another. If there is a quarrel, like children, we should be quick in making up. Trust and depend on God for our needs. Be kind and forgiving and be fast in sharing what we have with others then the Kingdom of heaven will be ours for the asking. Good luck as you think seriously about the above life’s lesson.

Would you recognize Christ if you see him today?

If Jesus Christ comes to your door today would you recognize him? The image of Christ portrayed in films, art or in Sunday school may be very different from the real Christ. It is not easy to recognize Christ in the beggars, the poor, the sick, the homeless, and the strangers; or in your enemies or in those who hate and want to kill you. We know rationally that we are created in the image and likeness of God, but that concept is not easy to grasp internally and spiritually especially when we look at what is happening in the world today. We know that if we love God, we should also love our brothers and sisters, indeed everyone. “If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. This is the commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother” 1 John 4:20-21. Is this what we notice around us and around the world? Far from it! Think of the Middle East, Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Ukraine, Russia, ISIS (Islamic State in Iraq and Syria), terrorists and extremists. Yet every Sunday Churches, mosques and synagogues are filled with worshippers who claim to love God (Allah or Yahweh) but cannot see eye to eye with their brothers and sisters.

There is a story told of a bishop who had a very disobedient priest in his diocese. He convened a disciplinary committee to decide the disciplinary action to take on the priest. The committee decided that the priest should be suspended for a year. His faculty was to be withdrawn, he was not to celebrate public Mass, and he was not allowed to take part in any diocesan activities. After giving his verdict, the bishop told the priest that if Christ were to be around, that was exactly what He would have done. At that moment, the Lord Jesus Christ appeared and said to the bishop ‘my judgment is that of mercy, compassion, forgiveness and love’. “Thus the Lord pass before him and cried out, “The Lord, the Lord, a merciful and gracious God, slow to anger and rich in kindness and fidelity” Ex. 34.6. On hearing this, the bishop rebuked Christ and ordered him to return to where he came from. He reminded Christ that he was killed because of his mercy and compassion.

It is obvious that we love a virtuous life, we admire it but we are not particularly in a hurry to live it out. Hence we like to pray like St. Augustine, ‘Lord make me holy but not just yet’ or sing the song, I surrender, I surrender some, I surrender, I surrender some, all to thee my blessed Savior, I surrender some. Why not surrender all?

So think about it: what does being a Christian really mean? It means walking in the footsteps of Christ, living life on Christ’s terms rather than mine. It means being my brother’s keeper. St Paul stated it thus, “I have been crucified with Christ; yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me” Gal. 2:20.  So if our search is to bring us to the person of Christ, then know that he is not only found in the Church. Our search may bring us to where we started: the threshold of the slumps, the residence of the homeless, the gates of jails and prisons, the hospital wards, the ghettos of drugs, the immigration offices of Homeland security, the streets with beggars, yes, among the poor, the hopeless and the helpless. How comfortable are you with this Christ now that you have found him? Can you recognize him?    

The wisdom of the dead

Last week I went to Donaldsonville, Louisiana to visit Fr. Ayo, MSP. In Donaldsonville, there are many things that provoked thoughts in me. The Street behind the Church has a big cemetery. Not quiet five minutes walk from the cemetery is a catholic school. About three minutes walk from the school there is another Catholic Church. You see, Fr. Ayo ministers to people of African descent at St. Catherine of Sienna Church while Rev. Paul Yi, pastor of Ascension Catholic Church and St. Francis parish, ministers to Caucasian Catholics. Both Churches can now minister to people of any race, but in the past it was not so.

This reflection is focused on the cemetery that is within a walking distance between the two churches. As we walked pass it I observed absolute quiet and silence, a kind of serenity and peace. I wonder who the residences of this facility were. Were they peace loving or militant? Happy or sad? Racists or accommodating? White, black, Asian or the ‘other’? Rich or poor? Does anybody care now the type of car they had or not? Were they Christians or not? Catholics or Protestants? May be they had no religious affiliation. Did they posse firearms? Were they Democrats, Republicans or Independents? May be they had no party affiliation. Were they Straight, Gay, Transgender or bisexual? And finally, what is the state of their souls? Are they in heaven or hell? These and many more questions went through my mind as we took our daily walk around the neighborhood and had the privilege of passing the cemetery. 

We all should take a long loving walk around the cemetery every now then. This will give us an opportunity to reflect on life and the lessons we could glean thereof. You see, death is a great leveler, it doesn’t matter who you are or your status in life, when you die you are not different from an animal, your archenemy or your best friend. You will come to the same end and your destination is the same six feet down mother earth. Here is how the Psalmist sees it, “Why should I fear in evil days, the malice of the foes who surround me, men who trust in their wealth, and boast of the vastness of their riches? For no man can buy his own ransom, or pay a price to God for his life. The ransom of his soul is beyond him. He cannot buy life without end, nor avoid coming to the grave. He knows that wise men and fools must both perish and leave their wealth to others. Their graves are their homes for ever, their dwelling place from age to age, though their names spread wide through the land. This is the lot of those who trust in themselves, who have others at their beck and call. Like sheep they are driven to the grave, where death shall be their shepherd and the just shall become their ruler”, Ps. 49. If we know this then we should take St. Paul’s words to heart and behave accordingly. Listen to him, “There must be no competition among you, no conceit; but everybody is to be self-effacing. Always consider the other person to be better than yourself, so that nobody thinks of his own interests first but everybody thinks of other people’s interest instead. In your minds you must be the same as Christ Jesus” Philippians 2:1-11. Let us learn our lesson from the cemetery for the people there have so much to teach us just by their silence. This indeed is the wisdom of the dead! Where we are today, they were and where they are now we shall be!

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Life’s lesson reminds us that everything that has a beginning must have an end. How often have we said goodbye to the friends we made in the past; our high school sweethearts; our college darlings and those we thought we would marry and be happy forever; those we thought our life would be incomplete without them. What about those we thought would make us happy, that without them we would never survive? Well then, here you are, still surviving and still moving on. You are doing well without those friends of yesteryears. Do you even know where they are now? Do you miss them? Aren’t you happy without them? Happiness is not out there; it is in you! You are either happy or you are not. No one can make you happy or sad. It is within your power to be happy or be sad. We are often nostalgic about yesterday, worried about today and apprehensive about tomorrow. Yet life’s lesson continues to warn us that yesterday is gone, there is nothing we can do about it, tomorrow is not yet here, no matter how apprehensive we may be about it, the only thing that counts is now, the present. It is called the present because it is a gift. But do we heed life’s lesson and receive it as a gift? No, not us! How can we ever survive without thinking about today, worrying about tomorrow and crying over the mistakes of yesterday? Joan Rivers expressed this sentiment thus: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God’s gift, that’s why we call it the present”. The Book of Ecclesiastes reprimands us against thinking that yesterday was better than today. “Do not say: How is it that former times were better than these? For is not in wisdom that you ask about this” 7:10.

Have we ever been able to change the course of things by worrying? Christ wants to spare us from unnecessary worries and so asks us to trust God and be rest assured of his providence. “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘what shall we eat?’ or ‘what shall we drink?’ or ‘what shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” Mt. 6:31-34.

So when we think that the past was better than the present let us know that we were not there. If we were, we may have been too young to remember the hardships that grown-ups endured then. Thank God for the past and those whose shoulders we stood so as to see today. For today, see what you can do to better the lots of your neighborhood so that the young ones may come to be grateful to God and to you. Do not say that the problems of today are too overwhelming and so fold your hands and do nothing. Be courageous, put on the gauntlet and go to work for a better tomorrow. For, according to the Spanish Proverb, “There is not enough darkness in the world to extinguish the light of one small candle”.  Let us be that candle shinning in the dark to beacon people who are walking in darkness to the warmth of our light. Yes, Hellen Keller, the American writer and lecturer was right when she said, “ “I am only one. But still I am one, I cannot do everything. I will not refuse to do the something I can do”. If you want today to be better than yesterday then doing nothing to change today for a better tomorrow is not an option.