Monday, July 29, 2013

Life's lessons: Tips to a healthy relationship


‘Familiarity’, they say ‘breeds contempt’, this is life’s lesson. My people say that when saliva stays too long in the mouth, it becomes water. Life’s lesson too you would say, and you would be correct. When you presume that you know how your friend, spouse, wife or husband would react and feel at every situation, you may be heading towards a great awakening. When you no longer expect surprises and other expressions of love from the one you love it may be a sign that your love is becoming tepid. This would be the time to run tests on the relationship for signs of vitality. When friends and spouses do not remember what excites their friends or partners; like birthdays, anniversaries, where and when the marriage proposal was made, graduations and those other important dates, trouble is brewing in the horizon. These dates add spices to a relationship; they are the seasonings that flavor a palatable dish.

Do you stop talking to one another just because you are married? Why are you always fighting and quarreling as if you are enemies? Remember how it was when you were dating? How you never had enough of each other? Do not forget that the relationship or marriage that does not communicate, dies. When you are away from each other, keep the line of communication open and make it on going. Mind you, life’s lesson reminds us that absence makes the heart grow fonder. But think about this: absence can make the heart grow fonder for another person. So Talk to the one you love, remember his/her birthday. Surprise him/her with gifts. Though you have been married for some years, do not stop dating. If there are children, get a baby sitter. Keep yourself clean and neat at all times. Wear your favorite perfume or cologne, be clean-shaven and make up your hair. Look good and beautiful as if you are going on your first date. Do not work too hard so as to forget why you are working. Do not always think of giving a better life to your family to the point of not enjoying a better life with your family. Do not let a day pass by without an expression of love to your wife, husband or friend. Make sure to end every phone conversation with ‘I love you’. And please mean it when you say it. Be quick to say ‘I am sorry’, and mean it when you say it. Do not be shy or too proud to admit your fault. Humility will always succeed where pride fails. It is a sign of greatness to be the first to say ‘Please forgive me, it will not happen again’. When faults are discussed and forgiveness sought and forgiven, leave them in the past and don’t keep dragging them into the present. If God forgives and forgets our faults why can’t we do same with those we love? Is that not what we say when pray the ‘Our Father?’ You may be a director, chief of staff, supervisor or a CEO in your office or place of work, but in your family and home, you are a husband, a wife, a caring father, and a loving mother to your children.

Above all, begin your day with prayer and end it with prayer. Set Sunday aside to be in God’s house with your family for prayer and thanksgiving. Do not worry; the other fun stuff you like to do on Sunday will wait till after Mass. After all it only takes between 60 and 90 minutes to be in God’s house, other hours are all yours. When you make your budget, do not forget God. He gave you all that you have; don’t you think you should give Him His share?

If you observe these few tips, your relationship will begin to bloom and blossom and you will be better for it. Be good and let goodness be!    

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