Readings: Gen. 2:18-24; Heb. 2:9-11; Mk. 10:2-16
Only a Human Being can Solve a Human Problem.
1. Vima Dasan, SJ, in his book ‘His Word Lives,’ writes, “Questioning the children before Confirmation, the Bishop asked one nervous little girl, “What is matrimony?” She answered, “A place where souls suffer for a time for their sins!” “No, no,” said the parish priest, “that is purgatory.” “Let her alone,” said the Bishop, “She might be right; what do you and I know about it?” It is obvious that priests, apart from what they read and hear during counseling and marriage preparation, do not know much about the actual life of married couples. Some may have some idea, good or bad, based on the married lives of their parents. That is about all they know. Today’s readings present us with, first, the intention of God concerning man and woman, and second, the causes for divorce.
2. The first reading tells us how God felt about man after creation. God felt pity for man’s loneliness. “It is not good for the man to be alone.” God then worked hard to fix that problem. “I will make a suitable partner for him.” Animals and things could not fix man’s loneliness. Only a human being can solve a human problem. When a woman was brought to a man, his problem was solved. “This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called ‘woman’ for out of ‘her man,’ this one has been taken.” Case closed! Right? Not so fast. A woman was taken from a man’s side not to lord it over him but to be his friend, partner, companion, helper, and wife. On the other hand, the man is not to lord it over his wife or be her master. He, too, is to be a friend, a helper, a companion, and a partner to his wife. The marriage bond between a man and a woman will endure if these conditions are met.
3. The Church sees marriage as “a covenant by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of their whole life and which of its own very nature is ordered to the well-being of the spouses and to the procreation and upbringing of children” (Cannon 1055). Therefore, any person who wants to enter into a marital covenant must be free to consent to a life-long commitment to the other. “If their free consent is missing or seriously flawed, there is no marriage. In such cases, marriage tribunals may issue a declaration of nullity (an annulment). An annulment does not make a marriage invalid; it simply declares that it always was invalid, despite appearances to the contrary.” (Archbishop Terrence Prendergast SJ, ‘Living God’s Word’). Therefore, any marriage validly entered into with consent freely given and accepted cannot be dissolved. It is in perpetuity till death. It is binding and enduring and remains so for the good of the spouses and the well-being of children. Compatibility and communication, finances, trust, commitment, fidelity, patience, and endurance should be painstakingly discussed and stressed during marriage preparation. When these issues are not adequately treated before the celebration of the sacrament of matrimony, spouses may look for an easy way out by way of divorce, with the excuse that they were not well informed before they gave their consent.
4. Jesus addresses the question of divorce in today’s gospel. They asked him, “Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?” He asked them, “What did Moses command you?” They replied, “Moses permitted a husband to write a bill of divorce and dismiss her.” Jesus told them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts, he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.” Married life is not a bed of roses. It is a covenant between two individuals, with their personalities intact, who try to live a life of happiness and bliss together. It can only be possible through tolerance and endurance. St. Paul tells us how marital bliss can be achieved. “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. Husbands love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over to her to sanctify her. So husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the Church.” (Eph. 4:21-32).
5. If husbands and wives must live together in love, peace, and harmony and avoid divorce and the resultant harm and hardships on the children, they must create a conducive environment for love and peace to reign in their family. Since marriage is a sacrament, God will always supply the graces needed for them to thrive. But they must ask for it. Only God will make couples feel hopeful and supported in their marriage. Prayer, the sacrament of reconciliation, and the faithful reception of the Eucharist at Mass must be cultivated. The family that prays together stays together. Selfishness must be avoided by all means, and the ‘I’ and ‘me’ must be substituted for ‘us’ and ‘we.’ Husbands and wives must respect themselves and approach their challenges with calmness, trust, and an abiding love for each other. They must avoid external influences that may corrupt peace and harmony in their homes. They must take their problems to God first before their neighbors. This will ensure a lasting and peaceful coexistence between them. St. Peter has a few words for husbands and wives: “Be of one mind, sympathetic, loving towards one another, compassionate, humble. Do not return evil for evil, or insult for insult; but, on the contrary, a blessing, because of this you were called, that you might inherit a blessing.” (1Peter 3:8-9).
Rev. Augustine
Etemma Inwang, MSP
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