This post borrows its title from a book of the same name by Paula Ripple. Many people have written articles on the same title, but I guess their focus, even that of Paula would be different from mine. My major concern here is to state simply that our brokenness, instead of keeping us down, should rather propel us to greater heights. The truth of the matter, as attested to by the lesson of life, is that we all have been broken in the past, or some of us are going through our brokenness even as we speak. What makes us who we are is not that we have been broken, but that we have been able stand up and walk tall in spite of our brokenness.
In order to get rid of hatred, un-forgiveness, anger and frustration that come from our brokenness, it is good to trace and understand the cause of it all. Most of the time, we are broken due to unnecessary and an undue attachment to things and people. These attachments stem from distorted worldview that makes us believe that we would not be happy without certain things or people in our life. This belief and perception is, of course, completely flawed and realistically false. There is no single moment in our life when we do not have everything that we need to be happy. The real reason why we are not happy, most of the time, is that we focus our attention on what we do not have rather than on what we have.
Many of us are broken due to a mistaken type of love and affection. How right was Rilke, when he observed that young people often grievously go wrong in their false notion of love. They throw themselves into each other, as it is their nature, without patience and often find themselves in utter confusion. With confusion comes disappointment. What once brought them joy has now turned to sadness, hatred, brokenness and hurt. When we expect too much from people and our expectations are not met, we are broken, our feelings are hurt; we are disappointed, and frustrated and at times become depressed. Deep down in our hearts, we know that there is only one being that will not disappoint us - God, yet we put our trust in people. Ps. 146:3 exhorts us thus: “Don’t put your trust in human leaders; no human being can save you”. Micah the prophet warns us: “Don’t believe your neighbor or trust your friend. Be careful what you say even to your husband or wife. In these times sons treat their fathers like fools, daughters oppose their mothers, and young women quarrel with their mothers-in-law; your enemies are the members of your own family. But I will watch for the Lord; I will wait confidently for God, who will save me. My God will hear me” (7:5).
If you have been broken in the past or if you are going through your brokenness now, know that you are not alone; scores of your brothers and sisters are going through the same thing as you. This is a reminder for you to watch your attachments, your worldview and how you perceive people. Forgive yourself and those who have hurt you if you are to begin a new life. Always embrace the world as a lover, expecting appreciation and rejection. Whichever one comes your way, you would be ready for it. Do not forget that time is the greatest healer. Give yourself some time to mourn and grieve your loss and brokenness. Recognize it for what it is and believe that brighter days are ahead of you. No matter what situation you find yourself in, always know that your tomorrow will always be better than your today. Waste no time on yesterday; that is past and gone and will never come back again. Give it all to God and ask him to assist you so that you may see better days ahead of you. If relationships let you down, thank God that you have been able to see it for what it is worth before you let your life be buried in it. May be God has spared you from boredom in marriage that would have ended in divorce, death or deep depression. In every situation you find yourself, give thanks. Always trust in God and he will never let your brokenness be in vain.
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