Do not ever give up Hope!

Hope, simply put is a belief or expectation that what lies ahead will be better than the past. It is an expectation that no matter how much rain may be falling now, the sun will shine somehow someday. Hope is a wish that we harbor in our hearts of good things to come. Looking at this meaning of hope, no matter how vague it may be, I dread to consider its alternative. A life without hope is like a day without sunshine. And yet there are many out there who live without hope. What could be responsible for anyone to ever think that there is no way out of a dreadful situation?

One reason would be living a life of endless pain and suffering. Hopelessness may be due to sickness, deprivation, death of a love one, mental issues, depression, abuse: sexual, physical, mental or psychological, you name it. It may be due to unrealistic expectations from friends, parents or spouses. It could be caused by poverty, joblessness, homelessness, loneliness and addictions of all kinds. There are many reasons some people feel there is no way out. Many feel their only option is to take their own lives or attempt to do so. Is there any solution that could be proffered for hopelessness? I would contend that hopelessness could easily be named a silent killer. Why not? When one is hopeless, ones vision may be clouded and once darkness envelops someone and thrust him/her into a bottomless pit, what good would life be to such a person? Even if he/she is in a crowd, he/she may be shouting at the top of his/her voice and no one will hear. Dr. Wicks captured this condition in his Book ‘Living a Gentle, Passionate Life’: “As one abuse victim described it to me: “When you are crawling on your belly, hope seems far off. The person without hope is silently screaming, ‘Don’t you understand my pain? Don’t you see that all the suffering I face is unavoidable? Don’t you see that I would love to trust something, someone…even you, but I am too frightened?”  Wicks observed, “In the early stages of pain, it is hard to hear the seemingly silent voices of love and hope.” When hopelessness extends its long hands and grabs the neck of someone, without the support of a caring family and the desire on the path of the person to survive, life will be squeezed out of such a person. So what should the person do so as to climb up the ladder of hope and begin to experience life anew?

Here are some tips:

1.     You must have faith in God and trust him to get you out of this funk. ‘Faith’, according to Hebrews 11 ‘is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen. Once you believe that God is greater than your problem and trust that He is able to get you out of any despair, your foot is on the first rung of the ladder and you are on your way up.

2.     Develop and make use of your support system. They will assist you, but you must trust them. Your parents, if they are alive, your siblings, your friends, your pastor, your counselor, you name it. Seek their counsel, talk to someone but not everyone. Life’s lesson has taught us that ‘when an animal itches, it goes and scratches itself at a tree, but a human being goes to his/her family or friend and they will scratch him/her’.

3.     Stop and think before you act. Sometimes a good prayer and meditation can take care of lot of problems. Remember, no one can make you happy. Happiness is not something you get out there, it is inside of you, you are either happy or you are not. Do not blame the whole world for your problems. Know that everything that has a beginning must have an end. Bob Wicks stresses in the book quoted above that “Silent hope is also more visible when we are able to see things in context. If we can trace our pain, see the details that paralleled its beginning, find out what our perceptions are regarding the experience we had, and then reflect on how we now feel about it, we will glean a great deal of information that can be of use. In turn, this knowledge will also instill the seeds of hope.”

Finally, if there is anything our life in Christ has taught us, it is this: Jesus Christ has conquered our sad and depressed life and has made it possible for us to smile again. He made it possible for us to begin to hope again and demonstrated that it is the will of God that we be with him in paradise when our journey here on earth is over. To the repentant thief hanging with him on the cross he said, “Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” Make Jesus your friend today, take it to him in prayer and leave it there with him at the foot of the cross. He can take you out of any hopeless situation. You cannot afford to be hopeless. Hold this to heart always: ‘What I am sure about tomorrow is that providence will rise before the dawn.’ Be hopeful!    

Life's lessons: Tips to a healthy relationship

‘Familiarity’, they say ‘breeds contempt’, this is life’s lesson. My people say that when saliva stays too long in the mouth, it becomes water. Life’s lesson too you would say, and you would be correct. When you presume that you know how your friend, spouse, wife or husband would react and feel at every situation, you may be heading towards a great awakening. When you no longer expect surprises and other expressions of love from the one you love it may be a sign that your love is becoming tepid. This would be the time to run tests on the relationship for signs of vitality. When friends and spouses do not remember what excites their friends or partners; like birthdays, anniversaries, where and when the marriage proposal was made, graduations and those other important dates, trouble is brewing in the horizon. These dates add spices to a relationship; they are the seasonings that flavor a palatable dish.

Do you stop talking to one another just because you are married? Why are you always fighting and quarreling as if you are enemies? Remember how it was when you were dating? How you never had enough of each other? Do not forget that the relationship or marriage that does not communicate, dies. When you are away from each other, keep the line of communication open and make it on going. Mind you, life’s lesson reminds us that absence makes the heart grow fonder. But think about this: absence can make the heart grow fonder for another person. So Talk to the one you love, remember his/her birthday. Surprise him/her with gifts. Though you have been married for some years, do not stop dating. If there are children, get a baby sitter. Keep yourself clean and neat at all times. Wear your favorite perfume or cologne, be clean-shaven and make up your hair. Look good and beautiful as if you are going on your first date. Do not work too hard so as to forget why you are working. Do not always think of giving a better life to your family to the point of not enjoying a better life with your family. Do not let a day pass by without an expression of love to your wife, husband or friend. Make sure to end every phone conversation with ‘I love you’. And please mean it when you say it. Be quick to say ‘I am sorry’, and mean it when you say it. Do not be shy or too proud to admit your fault. Humility will always succeed where pride fails. It is a sign of greatness to be the first to say ‘Please forgive me, it will not happen again’. When faults are discussed and forgiveness sought and forgiven, leave them in the past and don’t keep dragging them into the present. If God forgives and forgets our faults why can’t we do same with those we love? Is that not what we say when pray the ‘Our Father?’ You may be a director, chief of staff, supervisor or a CEO in your office or place of work, but in your family and home, you are a husband, a wife, a caring father, and a loving mother to your children.

Above all, begin your day with prayer and end it with prayer. Set Sunday aside to be in God’s house with your family for prayer and thanksgiving. Do not worry; the other fun stuff you like to do on Sunday will wait till after Mass. After all it only takes between 60 and 90 minutes to be in God’s house, other hours are all yours. When you make your budget, do not forget God. He gave you all that you have; don’t you think you should give Him His share?

If you observe these few tips, your relationship will begin to bloom and blossom and you will be better for it. Be good and let goodness be!    

Helping those in need is a Christian imperative.

It is interesting that all the problems that we find in our Church of today were found in the early Church. Acts of the Apostles gives us clear picture of the issues that arose in the early Church in the time of the Apostles. In Acts 6:1-7 we read how a certain group felt that their widows were neglected in the daily distribution of food. The Apostles were clearly overwhelmed and they did not want to been seen as favoring one group over the other, so they felt a need for a division of labor. This clearly was the reason for the order of the diaconate in the Church. The initial duties of the deacons were to assist the apostles in the daily distribution of food. Peter made this point obvious at the inauguration of the order of the deacons. Let us take a look at the sixth chapter of the Acts of the Apostles: At that time, as the number of disciples continued to grow, the Hellenists complained against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution.  So the Twelve called together the community of the disciples and said, “It is not right for us to neglect the word of God to serve at table. Brothers, select from among you seven reputable men, filled with the Spirit and wisdom, whom we shall appoint to this task, whereas we shall devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” There you have it!

So you see? No matter what a priest does, he is never right. There will always be people who will complain, some will feel left out; others will feel let down. Here then lies the need for a close collaboration with others. We must never give up doing good; what we do may not always be appreciated but the God who sees our hearts and intentions will reward our effort. We should always look for a better way of getting the job done, no matter how thankless it may be. Helping others is our Christian imperative and there should be no compromise in getting out of our way to assist others. In assisting others, we indirectly assist God. Please read and pray Matthew 25:31-45.