The wisdom of the dead

Last week I went to Donaldsonville, Louisiana to visit Fr. Ayo, MSP. In Donaldsonville, there are many things that provoked thoughts in me. The Street behind the Church has a big cemetery. Not quiet five minutes walk from the cemetery is a catholic school. About three minutes walk from the school there is another Catholic Church. You see, Fr. Ayo ministers to people of African descent at St. Catherine of Sienna Church while Rev. Paul Yi, pastor of Ascension Catholic Church and St. Francis parish, ministers to Caucasian Catholics. Both Churches can now minister to people of any race, but in the past it was not so.

This reflection is focused on the cemetery that is within a walking distance between the two churches. As we walked pass it I observed absolute quiet and silence, a kind of serenity and peace. I wonder who the residences of this facility were. Were they peace loving or militant? Happy or sad? Racists or accommodating? White, black, Asian or the ‘other’? Rich or poor? Does anybody care now the type of car they had or not? Were they Christians or not? Catholics or Protestants? May be they had no religious affiliation. Did they posse firearms? Were they Democrats, Republicans or Independents? May be they had no party affiliation. Were they Straight, Gay, Transgender or bisexual? And finally, what is the state of their souls? Are they in heaven or hell? These and many more questions went through my mind as we took our daily walk around the neighborhood and had the privilege of passing the cemetery. 

We all should take a long loving walk around the cemetery every now then. This will give us an opportunity to reflect on life and the lessons we could glean thereof. You see, death is a great leveler, it doesn’t matter who you are or your status in life, when you die you are not different from an animal, your archenemy or your best friend. You will come to the same end and your destination is the same six feet down mother earth. Here is how the Psalmist sees it, “Why should I fear in evil days, the malice of the foes who surround me, men who trust in their wealth, and boast of the vastness of their riches? For no man can buy his own ransom, or pay a price to God for his life. The ransom of his soul is beyond him. He cannot buy life without end, nor avoid coming to the grave. He knows that wise men and fools must both perish and leave their wealth to others. Their graves are their homes for ever, their dwelling place from age to age, though their names spread wide through the land. This is the lot of those who trust in themselves, who have others at their beck and call. Like sheep they are driven to the grave, where death shall be their shepherd and the just shall become their ruler”, Ps. 49. If we know this then we should take St. Paul’s words to heart and behave accordingly. Listen to him, “There must be no competition among you, no conceit; but everybody is to be self-effacing. Always consider the other person to be better than yourself, so that nobody thinks of his own interests first but everybody thinks of other people’s interest instead. In your minds you must be the same as Christ Jesus” Philippians 2:1-11. Let us learn our lesson from the cemetery for the people there have so much to teach us just by their silence. This indeed is the wisdom of the dead! Where we are today, they were and where they are now we shall be!

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Life’s lesson reminds us that everything that has a beginning must have an end. How often have we said goodbye to the friends we made in the past; our high school sweethearts; our college darlings and those we thought we would marry and be happy forever; those we thought our life would be incomplete without them. What about those we thought would make us happy, that without them we would never survive? Well then, here you are, still surviving and still moving on. You are doing well without those friends of yesteryears. Do you even know where they are now? Do you miss them? Aren’t you happy without them? Happiness is not out there; it is in you! You are either happy or you are not. No one can make you happy or sad. It is within your power to be happy or be sad. We are often nostalgic about yesterday, worried about today and apprehensive about tomorrow. Yet life’s lesson continues to warn us that yesterday is gone, there is nothing we can do about it, tomorrow is not yet here, no matter how apprehensive we may be about it, the only thing that counts is now, the present. It is called the present because it is a gift. But do we heed life’s lesson and receive it as a gift? No, not us! How can we ever survive without thinking about today, worrying about tomorrow and crying over the mistakes of yesterday? Joan Rivers expressed this sentiment thus: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God’s gift, that’s why we call it the present”. The Book of Ecclesiastes reprimands us against thinking that yesterday was better than today. “Do not say: How is it that former times were better than these? For is not in wisdom that you ask about this” 7:10.

Have we ever been able to change the course of things by worrying? Christ wants to spare us from unnecessary worries and so asks us to trust God and be rest assured of his providence. “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘what shall we eat?’ or ‘what shall we drink?’ or ‘what shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” Mt. 6:31-34.

So when we think that the past was better than the present let us know that we were not there. If we were, we may have been too young to remember the hardships that grown-ups endured then. Thank God for the past and those whose shoulders we stood so as to see today. For today, see what you can do to better the lots of your neighborhood so that the young ones may come to be grateful to God and to you. Do not say that the problems of today are too overwhelming and so fold your hands and do nothing. Be courageous, put on the gauntlet and go to work for a better tomorrow. For, according to the Spanish Proverb, “There is not enough darkness in the world to extinguish the light of one small candle”.  Let us be that candle shinning in the dark to beacon people who are walking in darkness to the warmth of our light. Yes, Hellen Keller, the American writer and lecturer was right when she said, “ “I am only one. But still I am one, I cannot do everything. I will not refuse to do the something I can do”. If you want today to be better than yesterday then doing nothing to change today for a better tomorrow is not an option.

Gossip

Life’s lesson warns us not to say anything about someone if it is not a positive contribution to the person’s life. How many people heed this important lesson of life? Few or none, if you ask me! Yet the Holy Book states: “Do to others whatever you would have them do to you”. This moral imperative is called the Golden Rule, cf. Lev. 19:18;Tobit 4:15; Mt 7:12; Lk. 6:31. It is sad and indeed unfortunate that people say things to tarnish the image of others behind their backs, things that may even be untrue, injurious and damaging to people’s lives; things that may have the potentiality of destroying their future. This is gossip, rumor, tittle-tattle, whispers, canards, tidbits, etc. etc. and those who have this as their stock in-trade are gossips, scandalmongers, gossipmongers, tattlers, busybodies, muckrakers, whisperers, and flibbertigibbets. Look around and see if you can spot any around you. Gossips are instigators and Christian murderers. There is nothing like innocent gossip or harmless tale-tale. Saying things that are untrue about someone or anyone is as uncharitable as depriving the person of freedom and the right to life.

The Holy Father, Pope Francis stated clearly on September 13 during his morning homily on gossip, that, “when people participate in this sin, we imitate Cain’s gesture in killing his brother Abel”. When we talk about others, we are indirectly saying that we are better than them. We ignore our faults and failures and concentrate on the faults and failures of others. Christ asks us simple questions: “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, “Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye”, Mt 7:3-5. Pope Francis warns, “Those who live judging their neighbor, speaking ill of their neighbor, are hypocrites, because they lack the strength and the courage to look to their own shortcomings.” Therefore, “he/she who has hatred in his/her heart for his brother/sister is a murderer, he/she walks in darkness; he/she who judges his/her brother/sister walks in darkness”. Each time we participate in gossip and tale-tale, we are Christian murderers following in the footsteps of our patron saint Cain, the first murderer in history.

The pope concluded his homily with this warning: “Gossip always has a criminal side to it. There is no such thing as innocent gossip. The tongue is to be used to praise God, but when we use our tongue to speak ill of our brothers and sisters, we are using it to kill God”; “the image of God is in our brother or sister”. If we see ourselves as brothers and sisters in the Lord, created in the image and likeness of God, we will be slow in destroying that image of God in each other. In our lives together in the Church, our community or in our families, there is bound to be misunderstanding and conflicts but the solution is not in tearing each other apart. Neither does it in lie in engaging in character assassination. It is always in looking for the good of each other, in seeing potentiality for growth in everyone and in being joyful at our scanty triumphs. Gossip will only help in bringing quarrel, suspicion and in sowing a seed of discord and disunity among us. May God save us from the mouths of gossips! Amen and Amen and Amen!!!

The Sacrament of Reconciliation: The Time for Mercy is now!

Life’s lesson teaches us that when we get dirty, we should take a bath or have a shower, as the case may be. Oh yes!  This is a very simple instruction from life. If you do not pay heed to this lesson, you remain dirty, unkempt, unclean and undesirable and soon enough, you begin to lose friends.

The Church also has a similar lesson to teach us about our souls? The Catechism of the Catholic Church describes mortal sin thus: “Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God’s law; it turns man away from God, who is his ultimate end and his beatitude, by preferring an inferior good to him.” (C.C.C. #1855) C.C.C. #1874 continues, “To choose deliberately – that is, both knowing it and willing it – something gravely contrary to the divine law and to the ultimate end of man is to commit a mortal sin. This destroys in us the charity without which eternal beatitude is impossible. Unrepented, it brings eternal death.” In his second Epistle 5:16-17, John states “If you see a believer commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray to God, who will give that person life. This applies to those whose sins do not lead to death. But there is sin which leads to death and I don’t say that you should pray to God about that. All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin which does not lead to death”. It follows therefore, that the sin that leads to death is mortal and it is the sin that also drives God away from your soul. This too is hell, for hell is a situation where there is no God. So if John the evangelist tells us to pray for those who commit venial sin, what should we do for those who commit mortal sin? C.C.C. #1856 instructs: “Mortal sin, by attacking the vital principle within us – that is, charity – necessitates a new initiative of God’s mercy and a conversion of heart which is normally accomplished within the setting of the Sacrament of Confession.”

As your body gets dirty due to work, workout or sporting activities, so too is your soul. As you go about your daily duties and are concerned with life, you gather dirt called sin that clings to your soul. This dirt is, most of the time, as a result of your relationships and bad choices.  If unchecked, it will take away your peace; your joy and gradually your relationship with God will be affected and may end up driving God away from your life completely. You become hardened and your conscience deadened. Finally, you grow used to sin and are mastered by it.  

The sacrament reconciliation is one of the channels of Grace that Christ gave to the Church after his resurrection. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “Through the sacraments of Christian initiation, man receives the new life of Christ. Now we carry this life “in earthen vessels,” and it remains “hidden with Christ in God.” We are still in our “earthly tent,” subject to suffering, illness, and death. This new life as a child of God can be weakened and even lost by sin.” The Catechism remind us: “The Lord Jesus Christ, physician of our souls and bodies, who forgave the sins of the paralytic and restored him to bodily health, has willed that his Church continue, in the power of the Holy Spirit, his work of healing and salvation, even among her own members. This is the purpose of the two sacraments of healing: the sacrament of Penance and the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick.”

Isn’t it sad that very few Catholics use this sacrament nowadays? Many see it as old fashion, outdated or obsolete. Really? It’s strange that many would spend a lot of money on counseling but would be slow to approach the throne of Grace and ask for mercy freely given in the sacrament of reconciliation. Yet the Catechism teaches us that “Those who approach the sacrament of Penance obtain pardon from God’s mercy for the offense committed against him, and are at the same time, reconciled with the Church which they have wounded by their sins and which by charity, by example, and by prayer labors for their conversion.” No wonder Pope Francis sees the sacrament of reconciliation as the sacrament of mercy. On March 28, 2014 the Holy Father states in his homily at Casa Santa Marta thus: “God waits for us and never tires of forgiving us. Reflecting on the book of Prophet Hosea: “Return, O Israel to the Lord, your God; you have collapsed through your guilt. Take with you words, and return to the Lord”, he stressed,  “God waits and also God forgives, He is the God of mercy, he never tires of forgiving us. It is we who are tired of asking for forgiveness, but he never gets tired”.

One of the best ways to celebrate the Easter is to purify yourself of sins through the sacrament of reconciliation, so called, as the Catechism teaches “because it imparts to the sinner the love of God.” He who lives by God’s merciful love is ready to respond to the Lord’s call: “Go, first be reconciled to your brother.” Pope Benedict XVI linked the sacrament of reconciliation to the work of evangelization. Read on:

“Thus sacramental confession is an important aspect of new evangelization. “True conversion of hearts, which means opening ourselves to the transforming and regenerative actions of God, is the ‘motor’ of all reform and turns into an authentic force for evangelization. During Confession, the repentant sinner, thanks to the gratuitous action of divine Mercy, is justified, forgiven and sanctified… Only those who allow themselves to be profoundly renewed by divine Grace can internalize and therefore announce the novelty of the Gospel”. All saints in history bear witness to this close relationship between sanctity and the Sacrament of Reconciliation. New evangelization itself “draws life blood from the sanctity of the sons and daughters of the Church, from the daily process of individual and community conversion, conforming itself ever more profoundly to Christ.”

The sacrament of reconciliation offers you the chance to humble yourself before God your father as the prodigal son in Luke’s Gospel 15, and enables you to receive forgiveness for your sins. It is the washing or the shower that you need for your soul. The penance that you receive makes you feel clean and refresh so that you may have the courage to face a new day with strength.

If you have not yet done so, I plead with you to make use of this sacrament. Approach it with love and humility, be courageous and go to the God of mercy, confess your sins and receive forgiveness and absolution from God. Listen again to the words of Christ in John’s Gospel 20:22-23: “Receive the holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.” The Church truly has the power to forgive sins and Christ gave that power in the sacrament of reconciliation. Please take these golden words of Pope Francis to heart as you prepare to have your sins forgiven on April 8^th at 7:00 pm: “He will make a feast for you, ‘His splendor shall be like the olive tree and his fragrance like the Lebanon cedar.’ The life of every person, of every man, of every woman, who has the courage to draw close to the Lord, will find the joy of the feast of God. So, may this word help us to think of our Father, the Father that waits for us always, who always forgives us and who feasts when return.” What else can I tell you?

Do not ever give up Hope!

Hope, simply put is a belief or expectation that what lies ahead will be better than the past. It is an expectation that no matter how much rain may be falling now, the sun will shine somehow someday. Hope is a wish that we harbor in our hearts of good things to come. Looking at this meaning of hope, no matter how vague it may be, I dread to consider its alternative. A life without hope is like a day without sunshine. And yet there are many out there who live without hope. What could be responsible for anyone to ever think that there is no way out of a dreadful situation?

One reason would be living a life of endless pain and suffering. Hopelessness may be due to sickness, deprivation, death of a love one, mental issues, depression, abuse: sexual, physical, mental or psychological, you name it. It may be due to unrealistic expectations from friends, parents or spouses. It could be caused by poverty, joblessness, homelessness, loneliness and addictions of all kinds. There are many reasons some people feel there is no way out. Many feel their only option is to take their own lives or attempt to do so. Is there any solution that could be proffered for hopelessness? I would contend that hopelessness could easily be named a silent killer. Why not? When one is hopeless, ones vision may be clouded and once darkness envelops someone and thrust him/her into a bottomless pit, what good would life be to such a person? Even if he/she is in a crowd, he/she may be shouting at the top of his/her voice and no one will hear. Dr. Wicks captured this condition in his Book ‘Living a Gentle, Passionate Life’: “As one abuse victim described it to me: “When you are crawling on your belly, hope seems far off. The person without hope is silently screaming, ‘Don’t you understand my pain? Don’t you see that all the suffering I face is unavoidable? Don’t you see that I would love to trust something, someone…even you, but I am too frightened?”  Wicks observed, “In the early stages of pain, it is hard to hear the seemingly silent voices of love and hope.” When hopelessness extends its long hands and grabs the neck of someone, without the support of a caring family and the desire on the path of the person to survive, life will be squeezed out of such a person. So what should the person do so as to climb up the ladder of hope and begin to experience life anew?

Here are some tips:

1.     You must have faith in God and trust him to get you out of this funk. ‘Faith’, according to Hebrews 11 ‘is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen. Once you believe that God is greater than your problem and trust that He is able to get you out of any despair, your foot is on the first rung of the ladder and you are on your way up.

2.     Develop and make use of your support system. They will assist you, but you must trust them. Your parents, if they are alive, your siblings, your friends, your pastor, your counselor, you name it. Seek their counsel, talk to someone but not everyone. Life’s lesson has taught us that ‘when an animal itches, it goes and scratches itself at a tree, but a human being goes to his/her family or friend and they will scratch him/her’.

3.     Stop and think before you act. Sometimes a good prayer and meditation can take care of lot of problems. Remember, no one can make you happy. Happiness is not something you get out there, it is inside of you, you are either happy or you are not. Do not blame the whole world for your problems. Know that everything that has a beginning must have an end. Bob Wicks stresses in the book quoted above that “Silent hope is also more visible when we are able to see things in context. If we can trace our pain, see the details that paralleled its beginning, find out what our perceptions are regarding the experience we had, and then reflect on how we now feel about it, we will glean a great deal of information that can be of use. In turn, this knowledge will also instill the seeds of hope.”

Finally, if there is anything our life in Christ has taught us, it is this: Jesus Christ has conquered our sad and depressed life and has made it possible for us to smile again. He made it possible for us to begin to hope again and demonstrated that it is the will of God that we be with him in paradise when our journey here on earth is over. To the repentant thief hanging with him on the cross he said, “Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” Make Jesus your friend today, take it to him in prayer and leave it there with him at the foot of the cross. He can take you out of any hopeless situation. You cannot afford to be hopeless. Hold this to heart always: ‘What I am sure about tomorrow is that providence will rise before the dawn.’ Be hopeful!