Trust

This five-letter word means believing in somebody or in something so powerfully that you are prepared to go at any length for that person or that thing. It means being able to predict what other people will do and what situations will occur. This word can make or mare a relationship. That is exactly what happens if the first letter ‘T’ is removed from trust. In this case we are left with the word rust. Many a good and trusting relationship has been rusted due to betrayal of trust. And yet life has taught us that we cannot live meaningful life without trusting. Remember the last time you said to your friend, “I will never trust you again?’

A person who does not trust is suspicious of everything and everybody. This person is paranoid. He or she may be suffering from paranoid personality disorder. He suspects, without sufficient basis, that others are exploiting, harming or deceiving him or her. He or she is always preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of his/her friends and associates. He/she is reluctant to confide in others because of unwarranted fear that the information will be used maliciously against him or her.  He/she reads hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events. Persistently bears grudges; is unforgiving of insults, injuries or slights. Perceives attacks on his/her character or reputation that are not apparent to others and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack. Has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of spouse or sexual partner (Abnormal Psychology).   Since this is a disorder, the point of this posting is not dysfunctional mistrust that is a ground for diagnosing someone with paranoid personality. This posting is rather considering the basic life lesson of trust as a foundation for a healthy relationship be it between God and us or between friends and friends.

We cannot live without trust in one form or the other. Remember when you went to buy sugar? How were you sure that the box that had sugar drawn on it really had sugar cubes inside. You see! You still have some ounce of trust left in you. When you went to bed last night, how sure were you that you would wake up in the morning? You had to trust God some how. No wonder Psalm 125:1 reminds us “Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion which cannot be moved, but abides forever”. Reechoing this sentiment, Isaiah the prophet says, “Those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles! They will run and not become weary; they will walk and not grow weak!” (40:31).

The truth of the matter is that before anyone stopped trusting, become baptized and changed his or her name to Mr. or Mrs. Paranoid, he or she must have had his or her fingers burnt in the fire of trust. How can you forget when your best and trusted friend betrayed you? What about when your loyal and trusting girl friend stabbed you at the back and made away with your boy friend, today they are happily married and have three children while you are still single? Think of when your best friend whom, you shared your indiscretions with and you even confided your deepest secrets to him. Yet when you were considered for promotion, he went to the authorities and divulged your secret so that you lost that promotion for him. Today you are still his subordinate while he lords it over you. Need I say more? Consider Julius Cesar and Brutus? Et Brute were the only words Julius Cesar could utter as he kissed death brought about partly by the sword of his trusting and bosom friend, Brutus. Somebody stop me please, it is too painful to on! You mean Judas Iscariot betraying his faithful and trusting master Jesus Christ? What can I say about people like Bernie Madoff who steal millions from those who trusted their fraudulent investments while they were winning and dining with them?

The list is long and the reasons are myriads, why we stopped trusting. Ha! Betrayal of trust and mean things done to us should not triumph over our life. Bad people should not detect how we live. We should not give that power of control over our lives to anybody. The world is still full of good and wonderful people who are worthy of our trust. We only need to open our eyes, be alert and good people who deserve our trust will walk into our lives once again. To stop trusting is to stop loving, and when we stop loving we stop living, and when we stop living we are dead. Life has taught us that we should embrace the world like a lover, expecting two reactions: acceptance or rejection. If life should throw rejection our way then we must pick our broken lives up and move on. Let us keep on trusting until it hurts. For that is exactly how God trusts and cares for us even as we are at times very undeserving of his trust.